Grand Theft Auto

I was awaken from a deep R.E.M. sleep last night around 4 in the morning (My dream was nice too, it consisted of Vida Guerra, Kelly Hu, Me, Jacuzzi, bottles of wine,champagne, and kool- aid packets). But the ofacester was awaken by his sixth sense and luckily so, because if I hadn't listened to my inner voice and gotten up too take a peak outside my window, I would of never witnessed the crew of four bastards who were going GRAND THEFT AUTO on the cars in the parking lot. What was worse is that I forgot to lock the door on MY vehicle and they had just opened the door for more, trying to get me classified as a victim.

So I put on my sweat pants, gizmo slippers, and grabbed my favorite weapon of choice (a dirty butter knife--- Parkay muthaf**kers). As I'm racing down the steps like a ninja from the movie,"Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon," I can feel my heart getting ready to explode with excitement from a early morning battle with these idiots.




I roll up on these clowns who are in the process of ripping out my stereo, I ask them if I can help them with anything. All four goons turn around and look at me and see a 6'2 tall, 195 lbs pissed off guy with a dirty butter knife (parkay muthaf**kers). Then one of the thieves has the audacity to look at me and say " no, I'm fine." My pissed off meter really is rising now so I head over to my car and like a cartoon, all four thieves look at each other and start sprinting off into the woods nearby.
Thankfully nothing was stolen, but If you guys would of heard a story on the news about a butter knife wielding man on trial for manslaughter---- The story would of been about me!!! Parkay Muthaf**kers

Happy Easter..... or whatever!!!!!