Career Advice

I have this friend who I constantly give free advice to from time to time just because I like her and I want to build credit so I can sleep with her. Today she called and was complaining about how some lady at her job, higher up on the pyramid scheme.... organizational chart, was treating her with hate and venom. So, being that I'm her wanna-be knight in shining armor, I doled out these powerful words of advice.

1. Nice people finish last. Always.

2. Nobody Gives a F*ck about you. If you don't put yourself first no one else will.

3. Some people that are assholes in the office are really pissed off about something at home. It could be the wife, the kids, the mistress or boytoy. You have no clue what the f*ck is digging in their asshole so block that sh** out because it will hold you back. Some people have a misery that they carry. They want you to hold that pain, that misery and carry it with them because they can't do it on there own. Put this suitcase of guilt down and let those f*ckers carry it.

4. Other people enjoy being surrounded in chaos. It can be very addictive if you have low self esteem or self worth. Don't get caught up in this trap either.

5. You need to carry some F.U. about you. I don't care who you are or what you do for a living, but from day one walk with some F.U. Those are the people who suceed in life. Don't be overbearing with it and obnoxious. Just release a small scent of it, enough for people to smell and know that you could quite possible come on the job and kill a muthaf*cker or two.

6. Be a greedy S.O.B. when you clock in!! Gordon Gekko said it best: "The point is ladies and gentlemen that greed, for lack of a better
word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts
through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in
all of it's forms - greed for life, for money, knowledge - has marked
the upward surge of mankind and greed - you mark my words is good!"