Snake Charmers

I've been feeling sick the past couple of days and the bug finally caught up with me, so I decided too take it in early. What a shame, that I had to leave and pass up the opportunity for anointing me a honorary knight by the girls at the castle (Camelots). Now, I'm not a big fan of strip clubs, because I think its pretty stupid to pay a woman $10 bucks too grind on your lap and not get anything else out of it other than a phony smile or a wicked little tease and a soggy crotch stain on your dockers. Seriously, if I wanted somebody to grind on me when it was convenient , I would either go to a club or go out and buy a dog, but unfortunately, beastiliaty not my thing either.

The worst part is walking in and seeing all those hypnotized balding men sitting at the tables, drinking watered down sodas, eating old tossed salads (Insert Joke Here) and 25 cent buffalo wings, looking like a bunch of cobras being charmed by the hips of a woman that would never give them the time of day on the street. All I can think about is conducting an investigation into each man's background so I can find out what they do for a living, see who's the accountant, who's the lawyer, who's the priest or the principal, all preferably married and not where they were supposed to be so I can black-mail em.

Tonights roll call consisted of:
1. Dear Leader- Rules his wife like he's Kim Jong IL.
2. Wife Beater-Title speaks for itself. Total jerk but he does have a partial good heart.
3. Dog Whisperer- This is one of the nicest guys I've ever met in the world. If any lady out there is looking for a good man to date, this guy is definitely it. Just a good dude. Everybody likes and respects him.
4. ME- Dastardly Bastard



Dear Leader and Wife Beater, are notorious attendee's at strip clubs in the DC/Balto area. They question my sexuality because I feel totally uncomfortable going to them. Its not that I don't like the woman, most of them are attractive, its just I can't seem too role play with someone, especially when you know its not authentic or genuine.

Not only that, but these jackasses will have lunch at a strip club during the work week. How f**king nasty is that, too be eating mozzarella sticks with some woman's vulva in your face. Very lucky too also know a insider, for one of the area clubs management team. I think he has a MBA from Harvard in Clear Heel administration, I mean how else could he be qualified for that position? Basically, he explained that most of those girls that people see, and fall in love with are some of the biggest coke and acid heads that you'll ever meet. Nothing like staring at attractive crack head with clear heels.