Mother Load

Hung out with L-Lo tonight at Mc Starbucks. Its kind of comical too walk into a restaurant or coffee shop and see all the guys' heads whip over at the girl your walking with and stare her down for the same reasons your with her in the first place. Its all about the butt, and her posterior is ASSTASTIC I say!!! I don't know why we're f**king role playing with each other. We got more rhythm together than Usher in concert.

We have this type of relationship, where we like to ask each other the most difficult questions you can ask a person. Stuff that's gonna make you stutter or pause for a long time so that you can ponder something intelligent. Questions like: If you could be another race what would it be and why?.. or if your lover contacted aids,bird flu, or ebola, would you stay or leave?... or how about this question that I got asked tonite: If you could sleep with any older person who would it be and why?? It took me a long time too come up with an answer for this question, because I've hardly thought of anybody over 40, who I would consider banging, but now that I've had a chance to search my memory banks and pump some testosterone through my cerebellum, I've been able to come up with a quick list.

1. Debbie Travis-- You were the one that got me crack addicted to HGTV in the first place. Debbie comes in with that warm, motherly smile, wearing those overhauls that remind me of a farmer's wife from the Great Depression, just without the smell of s**t and dust. The thing about her is that she takes time out too learn a person and expose them too new ideas. A lot of people can't do that...because nobody in America has patience,but not you Debbie. You know were all retarded.

Vanessa Williams- I can't believe that your in the mid 40's now. It should be criminal that your so beautiful and single. More proof that Rick Fox was a little too into his character on 'OZ'. How else can you explain divorcing this divine creature...Dastardly bastard!! Beautiful complexion with gorgeous green eyes. It's been a long time since the scandal that rocked you when you won Miss America. But I saw the pictures of you nude and all I have to say is f**k them, I was proud for you.




Mary Heart-- I looked in the dictionary, and there you were under the words M.I.L.F. Your legs are so sexy that you had them insured in case of injury. How f**king impressive is that. I've been watching you on t.v. since the 80's covering all those fruity actors in Hollywood. You were even able to stomach Kojo's nutty ass for 3 years. More proof that you could put up with me.