Man Boobs

Tonite, I went out with the crew, M.O.M.(Men of Mayhem). It consisted of 3 guys-
1.Dear Leader- Dude runs his wife like he's Kim Jong IL and she's North Korea's people.
2. 3 + 9 - Not hating on grown men having kids, but dude has like 3 kids and has forced at least 9 abortions. All in 3 years.
3. Me- quiet pyschopath

and 3 chicas
1. Hot Sauce- old flame, but we're thicker than thieves I say. She's is the most beautiful regular woman I've ever seen....This week... but I told her she should be a newscaster on tv and I was f**king serious. Gorgeous!!
2. Red- Kind of reminds me of Grace from Will and Grace.
3. Boom Boom- Teaches karate class, and got a degree in asian studies. She can fight, and I love her roundhouses. Looks just like Natalie Raitano. I like her but she knows I'm a jackass, and you and I will be able to build snowmen in hell before she'll let me get a date. Her posterior is fire.

So we all meet up in Baltimore, slum city, capital of crack houses and urban plight. The place of entertainment is the Good Love Lounge located in Canton. I recommend this place anytime, because its cheap, upscale for Baltimorian standards and safe. Plays good soulful house music, hip-hop, and r and b. This spot is kind of empty on Wednesdays, which is why I recommended it tonite, because I'm conflict free on Wednesdays.

So I'm dancing and drinking with Hot Sauce and we're together for pretty much the whole night. About 3/4 the way in the night, I go to the bathroom and leave Hot Sauce by herself on the floor. As I'm walking back I see some guy holding her hand. He's about 5'9, about 300 lbs with man boobs. Look, if your a man, and your under 40..unless your pectorals have been removed, there is absolutely no reason to have boobs. Do some push ups, do some bench presses, do something. So Hotsauce used woman tactic #3422-- Proceeds top lie and tell man boobs that I'm her boyfriend. So now I'm standing there, obligated to either confirm or deny her lie, because she obviousily doesn't dig boobs on dudes. I told the young lad that I didn't know the woman till tonite, and if your interested go ahead and try because she told me earlier that she was single. I've never been punched so hard in the arm by a woman before. So for the next 15 minutes, I laughed my ass offf as Hot Sauce hid behind me, while man boobs, kept motioning her to come over and get his game on. I love Baltimore.